I spend a great deal of time on the freeway, actually too much time on the freeway. But during that time on the freeway, I notice people. Their habits—usually bad—have been seen by me; probably seen far too often for my liking. Every morning I witness different people with different habits and personalities. I usually play a game with myself and try to guess what their life may be like just from seeing how they drive and what is in their car. You see, I don’t have road rage—unlike my mom who is constantly yelling at the next person who cuts her off. Usually, the people on the I-15 at 6am just make me laugh.

For those who don’t commute, I can assure you, you are one lucky duck.

6:00am, driving down the I-15 freeway in Temecula, California S bound. May I remind you readers, this isn’t fictional. I see these people and they see me. An occasional smile is shared but usually it’s a shaking of a fist while yelling out the window for a good morning flipping off…

It all starts with a man in a black Chevy truck. His license plate reads MAADMAN, which if you aren’t fluent in license plate, that is Mad Man. Ok, buddy I get it. You live on the “wild side”. You drink Coors Lite and have a tattoo sleeve up your left arm. You rock a goatee. Throw in an NRA bumper sticker and there you have it.

Next, is a woman, driving a white explorer with all seven of her family members in miniature stickers on the back of her car.

A woman in a Blue Toyota Corolla type of a car. She caught my eye because she had the following items in the back window of her car: 15-20 Beanie Babies, an old box of tissues, and a bottle of wine (maybe a Zinfandel, although she looks more like a Chardonnay type of lady).

One man shaving.

At least 3 people picking their nose.

One singing girl with a pierced lip.

One woman on her mobile phone, driving and trying to eat a breakfast sandwich at the same time. I stayed away from her.

Two women putting on their makeup. One with a “Jesus is My Co-pilot” bumper sticker.

One child standing up in the back seat of a small car looking at me. Crying.

Probably every smoker in the Temecula Valley, chain smoking in their cars. Boy that has really increased, or I am just noticing it more. Since they can not smoke anywhere else I see a lot of car smokers.

Small dog sitting on his/her masters lap, WHILE THEY WERE DRIVING.

A man in a pickup truck with what looked like the entire contents of his home loaded into the back and tied down with some old twine. This man was really little and he had a statue of the Virgin Mary on his dashboard. I am thinking he needed her.

A Red Socks Fan eating Dorritos at 6:22am.

Several members of the Calvary Church.

One woman with Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet stickers on her car. Her license plate was “TIGRRRR” which translates to Tigger if you weren’t aware. She also had the head of Winnie the Pooh on her antenna, but he was half way down the antenna. I guess he was a sort of skewered Pooh.

As you can tell the diversity on the Southern California freeways is alive and well. I am fascinated by what you can tell about a person in their car, or their morning rituals in their car and especially those who feel the need to express themselves loud and clear.

My views on these characters? Well, lets start with the MAADMAN. What is it with men like this? You usually find these men with those stickers of a silhouette of a naked woman as an angel or devil. First off, who even invented those stickers?? They are degrading and offensive. Yet again, another unreal expectation of how a woman should look like?? But more importantly, why did this misogynistic yahoo decide to put it on his car?

Moving on. What is it with the trend of putting every single family member as a sticker on your back window—the little people or the flip-flops, you know what I’m talking about people. Why do you feel the need to tell me how many kids you have? Or that you have a baby on board?—That’s your problem.

Beanie Babies lady has a story though. What is it, I have no clue. But to me, she gets the award for most intriguing. I could not see if the wine was open, but I am picturing this lady in a parking lot sitting in the backseat of her car the drinking cheap wine, crying about menopause and talking to her Beanie Baby Collection. On another note, what is with the stuffed animals in the car? Not sure.

Jesus is My Co-pilot Lady does not bother me because she obviously feels strongly about Jesus and I am fine with that. Same goes for the Calvary Church. Not my church, but maybe it’s yours. But don’t get political on me. If I see one more political bumper sticker—doesn’t matter who you support—I’m going to drive into your bumper on purpose.

When did dogs become people and replacements for children? I saw a woman the other day in Target with a little dog in the front of the basket. What the hell is this? It is a dog. Not a human. What happened to No Dogs Allowed. I mean I get it you want some company but I’m sure your dog feels uncomfortable sitting in the baby section of the cart. I digress…moving on.

Winnie the Pooh Lady, again not my thing, but she apparently has a need to let everyone know that she is a fan. Way to go.

Oh and don’t get me started on the people who put their college alumni stickers on their cars. You went to Harvard, congrats now do something other than cut me off, you entitled piece of trash.

I want to assure you, I’m not judging these people. Even though it sounds as if I am, I promise I’m not. These people? They are my friends. I see them at 6am everyday, coffee or not. Some days are better than others for the commute. My ramblings are simply just my thoughts from my most recent commute.

And I guess it comes down to people wanting to be acknowledged. Some people put things on their car, others put funny saying on their t-shirts, or some people blog. I love the unique people that find new ways to make people laugh or often times think with their expressions. The people that disturb me are the followers, the ones that follow the latest trend in bumper stickers or on a larger scale, the latest trend in politics. Remember to think for yourself. Harvard grad or not, you are just as unique as the next guy.

Me? Well, I blog. Not about the latest trends but whatever I have on my mind. If you see me on the freeway, I’m the one in the less-than-stellar Jeep. No stickers, no nose picking, no wine or Beanie Babies. Just an average girl in a dirty Jeep, taking in all the people around her. But, I’m sure my friends on the I-15 would argue that I’m way more exciting than that.

I’ll keep you guessing, Uptown Maven